Tamara and Carolyn

Mini bio – Me Challenge Day 8

I am not sure who is reading this but I can tell you that last night all I could think about is how I’ve really put myself out there.  I am feeling very exposed and some feelings I can’t even label.  I do not regret sharing, because I want all women to know they really are never alone, and more importantly that they can overcome.

I am going to be honest with you here I am not even sure what a blog is entirely or its real purpose ( Don’t judge me!) but I am using this blog as a platform to share personal stories, connect, and I guess, work through my own “stuff”.

Christmas is a time for me that is so magical and special, even as a child, it felt like it was the one time in the year where we all were close and like “a real family”, Mom always made it so special and Dad wanted to give us ( I have a younger brother) everything.  We were spoiled at Christmas, and I loved seeing everyone happy, it made me happy.  The traditions of my childhood I of course wanted to carry on with my family.  My girls were about 2 and 3 years old and it was the 23rd of December, not a present was bought, no baking done, no turkey, nothing that resembled the Christmas I knew and loved.  We were broke but we had one paycheck that we were going to go shopping with!  My husband will be home soon and we are going to get our Christmas on!!  About an hour before I expect him home he calls and says he stopped at the casino and won $1000!  I was ecstatic, finally some luck.  Then 2 hours later he is still not home and I called him to ask what is the delay, we need to go shopping.  He decided to go back in to the casino and not only did he lose the winnings but he lost the pay too.  I was devastated.  I can’t even describe how much of a failure I felt I was, no Christmas, not even a dinner.  What to do now?  Your probably thinking family, well his family lives 5 hours away as we were living in Northern Ontario at this time, and my family lives in Europe.   It was just us.  So I decided to delay Christmas, we had Christmas about a week late, the kids were small and didn’t have daycare so they didn’t know that it really wasn’t Christmas, but I did and I hated it and him for it.  This wasn’t the last Christmas without money either, there was another year when the kids were in school and daycare and were very aware of Christmas.  But this story has a happy ending, there really is magic at Christmas time and there really are good people in the world.  Our daycare providers mother, a women I will never forget, showed up on the last day of daycare for the holiday season and had a garbage bag FULL of toys and gifts, brand new, and gave me the whole bag for Christmas.  I had never felt such gratitude in my life and the tears were pouring out of me.  My girls will have a Christmas and Santa will come!  Only because a “Santa” actually did!

But I loathed my husband, and myself for ever even being in this situation again.

Today I am a single mother, and our Christmases are beautiful, my mother is home now and with us, which is totally awesome as she is my magic at Christmas and I think my girls too.  My life’s journey has some very bumpy paths but it also has some very smooth and beautiful paths.

Onto the challenge!

5 things to be grateful for:

  • my life
  • my girls
  • my mother
  • my health
  • my lessons

5 I AM’S

  • I am lucky
  • I am beautiful
  • I am thin
  • I am motivated
  • I am worthy

Have a Great Day and keep up with the Challenge!

Me

Tamara and Carolyn

Me Challenge – Day 7 and….

So I am just going to pick up where I left off yesterday…and then do my challenge.

I was a victim!  I was the innocent one, I was the normal one, even though I was told many times I was not normal and that something was wrong with me.  I remember a time so clearly, It was days after my second child was born, (my girls are 13 months apart) my husband wasn’t even there when she was born.  He decided to go into business with his brother, run thousands of dollars on his brother’s credit because at this point we didn’t have any, hell we didn’t have money for the rent.  Anyway, I had decided to get a tubal as soon as I became pregnant with my second, there was no way I was going to have more children when we couldn’t afford the now two we have and our lives were so unstable that it just wasn’t going to happen.  Not to mention the fact that he NEVER once fed, changed, got up with them, nothing that was all on me.  Well my decision to do this was a disastrous blow to our marriage as he wanted a boy.  I was on the operating table when the doctor came in and said my husband just called and asked me not to perform the tubal, he is threatening your marriage if you go through with this.  I then asked the doctor if my husband had any rights or if he could stop this, the doctor said no, I said then lets do it, I obviously don’t have much of a marriage anyway.  It was the first time I ever took any stand for myself and did something he did not approve of or was his idea.  ( I was on the operating table because I had C-sections for both as my body doesn’t progress into labor, after two inductions with my first we figured this out!)  So now I am at home, he is not home, I have two babies, no money, no friends or family around to help and I am talking on the phone to my husband, I don’t even remember what we ended up fighting about but I remember him yelling through the phone, and me hysterically balling, falling to the floor lifeless, the phone not even in my hand anymore, my babies crying and I was paralyzed with pain, hurt, and now guilt and shame.  How long I laid on the floor I couldn’t tell you, but when I finally picked myself up my babies weren’t crying anymore, they had cried themselves to sleep.  I didn’t sleep at all that night and swore to myself I will never let this happen again where I can’t function enough to tend to my girls.  Nothing was worth that kind of guilt.  A couple days after this he returned home, told me how I was not even a real women now that I had done this, made an appointment with the doctor to see if this could be reversed and demanded I go.  I said ok we can go and see what he says, (knowing full well this was not an option) if this is possible I said to him, things need to change between us.  Oh he promised the moon.  This is the hardest part for me to actually say and share, he wanted to have sex with me, I was less than one week out of surgery, with stitches, tired and sore and really didn’t want to but I did, crying inside, it hurt not just physically but emotionally.  As he is performing for lack of a better word he is saying I feel different and that I am not whole anymore.  Finally it was over and I loathed myself, and hated him, but I was stuck, no money, no job, no family, no friends, and two kids.  This is just one memory of many not so pleasant. The point of this memory is to show you clearly where being a victim gets you.  Google proved to me that I was a victim and so with that victim mentality I continually, progressively was a victim, more than ever. Are you starting to see a pattern?  Don’t worry if you don’t yet, keep reading and you will!  I will continue to share with you my life stories and journeys for one main reason, to inspire you, to show you how no matter what you are a survivor and can overcome anything.  Women truly are the toughest we just don’t always believe it.

5 things to be grateful for

  • my family
  • my life
  • my lessons
  • my health
  • my strength

5 I AM’S

  • I am a survivor
  • I am beautiful
  • I am thin
  • I am strong
  • I am worthy

Until tomorrow ya’ll have a great day 🙂

Me

 

Tamara and Carolyn

Me Challenge – Day 6

Hello!

Before I make my entries I would like to share a link with you about the importance of self care https://plusguidance.com/blog/importance-of-self-care/  Please read this ladies blog on self care, you will only benefit!

When I was married, Everything I did was “for my family” I went without, I made all the sacrifices, I worked for my husband even though I didn’t want to and knew it was a mistake, I did, I did, I did.  Through all of the I did’s and I do’s I lost myself and created a world of no hope and a world where I was destined to be a “loser” a “failure” and what do you know… the world just kept handing me more reinforcements of this terrible life and feeling.  Your life truly is a reflection of what you feel about yourself, a 10 year lesson for me and still learning.  We kept fighting about money, kids, life choices, begging for some recognition and appreciation for all that I do and for just being me, you know having a partner in life.  It’s like a faint light was still inside, I knew there was something about me that was worthy of something!  But the reality is I had nothing for myself, I only felt lonely, unworthy, stuck and stupid, oh and can’t forget fat, yes I felt fat!  Crazy the amount of weight we give our body image.  So then you could say my marriage became a score card, yes I kept score, I wanted ammo when we fought, I wanted to prove how much I do, so he could start to love and appreciate me, you know like even up the score!  Do you know what this did?  It put us on opposite sides, created more hurt and once again reinforced my feeling of how pathetic my life and I am.  I became a professional victim, I was the abused one, just Google living with a narcissist and that was me, Google how to tell when your in an emotionally abusive relationship, I hit every sign.  So what did this mean?

I will fill you in tomorrow!

I am at work and we just hired a new member!  She’s just arrived so I must go back to work!

but I can’t forget about the challenge so here it is.

5 things to be grateful for:

  • My amazing life
  • my 2 girls
  • my mom
  • my friends
  • my healthy genes

5 I AM’S

  • I am beautiful
  • I am thin
  • I am full of energy
  • I am Lucky
  • I am mysterious (I like this one)
Tamara and Carolyn

Me Challenge – Day 5

5 things to be grateful for:

  • my life
  • my family and friends
  • my health
  • my mind
  • the fact that I live in Canada

5 I AM’S

  • I am beautiful
  • I am thin
  • I am lucky
  • I am kind
  • I am generous

Well I am staying loyal to this challenge thus far, do any of you suffer from procrastination?  I definitely do!  So I was at a show today in Cambridge and did not have time to do this this morning but I am making the time now as I know how important this is!

Hope you all are keeping up with this!

Me

Tamara and Carolyn

Me Challenge – Day 4

5 things to be grateful for

  • my life
  • my family and friends
  • my home
  • my health
  • endless opportunities

5 I Am’s

  • I am beautiful
  • I am lucky
  • I am thin (I am fakin’ it til’ I make it)
  • I am a survivor
  • I am happy

Today’s entry will be short and sweet, I am quite busy with party planning!!  Love this time of year for all the get togethers and sharing.  Have a great weekend and keep up the great work on staying with the challenge.  Next one is going to be even harder!  At least for me!

Me

Tamara and Carolyn

Me Challenge – Day 3

Day 3

5 things to be grateful for:

  • to be alive
  • my family and friends
  • to have such awesome co-workers
  • to have opportunities
  • to live without fear of starvation

5 things I AM

  • I am lucky
  • I am worthy
  • I am enough
  • I am beautiful
  • I am honest

I left asking a question yesterday, and that is what do you admire in others?  I now have another question for you, are any of the qualities you admire in others on your I Am list?  Because we have the power to be what we admire in others.  Like anything in life its a practice and a training.  Before we do anything we must first choose to.

Have a great day!

Stay positive and stay you 🙂

Me

 

Tamara and Carolyn

Me Challenge – Day 2

8d0a1527e9169dd28417b03abfc93867--benefits-of-almonds-prevent-hair-loss primrose oils meadowfoam

Here are some quick facts about essential oils for skin.  These particular oils can be found in our serums and remember ours are organic!

But as promised to you and myself, a gratitude and I am entry – Day 2

 

5 things to be grateful for:

  • my life
  • my family and friends
  • how lucky I am to be healthy
  • the power to make change
  • to live in Canada

5 nice things about myself starting with I AM

  • I am lucky
  • I am beautiful
  • I am healthy
  • I am clever
  • I am happy

*Remember “fake it til’ you make it” if you have to!  I won’t deny I do on some level myself.

As I have written before I struggle with my weight and body image – am I getting better sure, but I am not 100% ok or confident.  I can say that I am confident in who I am, like I really feel that I am a good hearted and generous person.  I feel confident in saying I like me.  I want you to feel good about you in every way.  It is an extremely rewarding feeling to see people standing for themselves, having faith and confidence in themselves and liking themselves.  I am sure you agree.

I have a plan to start a weight loss journal in the New Year and if any of you jump on ship with me the support would be fantastic!  Lord knows I will need it!  If you have been reading any of these entries you’ll see that I’ve had this plan before, I know I am not as disciplined as I would like to be either, but hey I am aware and will always be a work in progress.

I want to thank you in advance for reading and joining me, believe it or not knowing I am accountable to someone who is on the same train as I helps me more than can write!

I am going to leave you with a question.

What qualities do you admire in people?

Write them down in your journals and we will share some information on this tomorrow.

Until then have a fantastic day and remember Self Love = Love for All

Me

 

Tamara and Carolyn

Challenge – Day 1

 

jet stonelavasunstone

Here is a little information on the uses of stones.  Now that we carry bracelets with a variety of different stones we thought we should share some of the properties.  Knowing the stones will help in deciding the oil that best compliments!  I won’t deny that I too am learning as we go on these things but I do believe in them.  These are ancient old practices that are finding there way back to us.  Before medicines and synthetic versions of treatments this is what was used.  Funny how history truly repeats itself.

I will be adding more information regularly!

I want to put out a challenge to anyone who dares.  Lets start a gratitude and self-love  journal.  Everyday we will enter 5 things we are grateful for and 5 nice things about ourselves starting with I AM.  You have all heard about the power of I AM.  If you haven’t I strongly suggest you use the link provided and watch this one hour sermon.  Whether you are a believer of God or not the teaches apply to everyone of any religion or belief. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kjSK-PcU9o This was featured on Oprah!

So I am going to start my journal right here with you!

I am grateful for:

  • my family and friends
  • my life
  • my health
  • my opportunities
  • my ability to change

Self -Love

  • I am a beautiful person
  • I am a generous
  • I am a positive
  • I am a healthy
  • I am a determined

If you are struggling to say nice things about yourself than you need to do this more than anyone!  Ever hear of the saying “fake it til’ you make it”, well then this applies.  You can retrain your own beliefs of yourself just doing this.

Signing off

Me (Tamara)

Tamara and Carolyn

About time!

Hello everyone!

So it has been way to long since I’ve posted anything.  Writing is not so easy and just how personal should I go?  Who is actually reading these posts?  So many questions I ask myself when writing these.

So I thought for a now I would just write about how very passionate I am to be adding products to our inspirational line!  Why? Well I am in love with personal growth, aha moments and anything that helps to promote personal growth and awareness.  I want to share this stuff  with the world!

Patience has never been a very strong characteristic of mine, (I am totally aware :)) however, I just can’t wait to get our foundation launched, I so desperately want to help and do for so many.  Nothing feels better than helping others help themselves.  I can however say it is extremely rewarding to get emails and comments from customers that they are understanding how incredibly important it is to take care of themselves and how they’re lives have changed.  Yay to those ladies :).  I say it is you who keeps me growing and improving so I thank you too!

Well I am signing off for today, I will be back tomorrow !

Have a fantastically wonderful day

Tamara

Tamara and Carolyn

Our Mission

Hi everyone!

We are at the Western Fair and it has been a lot of fun.  Can’t deny we are a wee bit tired as we just finished The Ex, but my co-worker Chelsey and I are troopers and love meeting new people.  Sharing information on our products and making people smile and feel good about what they bought is the best feeling ever.

We want to leave everyone with a feeling of being informed and truly understanding what they have purchased and the difference it will make in their lives.  Which brings me to our ultimate goal, starting a foundation to help people/women take back their life, grab the world and make it theirs again.  We want to donate 1% of all purchases to start setting up safe houses locally, nationally, and globally.  These safe houses will be a place of resource, education and love.  We currently support shelters and various charities when and where we can, but we want to do more.  Empowering all to do for themselves, love themselves enough to know that they are worth investing in.  Everything in life starts and ends with you.

We believe all people genuinely want to help/give and now by taking care of you, you can.  Anytime you shop at The Me Store and share your experience, you are supporting our ultimate goal/mission and of course, you’re getting quality with every purchase :).

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Aren’t we cute! 🙂 lol

Signing off…

Tamara